Hi there!
It's been one year since I neglected this blog. How's it's been huh? Well what I'm concious about is the changes of my writings. Apa gue udah melakukan banyak hal yang harusnya membuat pemikiran-pemikiran gue menjadi lebih baik..? Well I don't know. Maybe I'll just have to try. :)
Mungkin pertengahan tahun bukan waktu yang tepat buat banyak orang untuk membuat resolusi, tapi gue mendapat sebuah semangat untuk memulai segala rencana hidup gue, yang sangat gue harapkan kalo itu akan menjadi sesuatu yg konsisten untuk gue jalanin. Setiap kali jam 12 malem di 31 Desember gue sangat jarang, atau hampir gak pernah membuat resolusi apapun dalam hidup gue. Bahkan di ulang tahun gue juga sebenernya. And by the way, gue juga sangat jarang melakukan introspeksi sama diri gue sendiri (ini yang selalu diprotes sama pacar gue, hehe).
Afterall, I'm confident in leading my life. I don't know, I just know it. I'm thankful that I'm gifted with passion in doing things I like, and I'm concerned in doing it as best as I can. Gue sempet sedih ketika membayangkan masa kuliah gue yg cepat atau lambat akan berakhir, karena gue belajar dan menyadari banyak hal ketika hari-hari kuliah gue. Menurut gue hari kuliah gue justru bisa dibilang hari-hari terbaik gue dalam masa pendidikan gue dari SD, sampe SMA. It's just the best laboratory in experimenting things. Life, social, education, anything. Golden ages, huh? Hehe.
Kalo diinget-inget dulu gue juga pernah ngerasain masa-masa romantisme masa SMA disaat gue hampir mau lulus. Maybe it's the same feeling of what I'm feeling right now, that tomorrow will be my last year and it'll be a guilt if I don't maximalized it. Well do your best until you don't have chance to regret it! Smangaaaaaaaat!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, July 21, 2008
Started
I just need to believe in me,
that this is right
For good
For everybody
For us
Hopefully
I still have the courage
To find those answers
And finish this
With a happy ending
"it" has power
and I don't have to worry much
Because "it" never bounded with time
And we're waiting for that time
Will you wait?
Ah, even though you wouldn't
I wouldn't blame you
Coz it feels good when I see you happy...
that this is right
For good
For everybody
For us
Hopefully
I still have the courage
To find those answers
And finish this
With a happy ending
"it" has power
and I don't have to worry much
Because "it" never bounded with time
And we're waiting for that time
Will you wait?
Ah, even though you wouldn't
I wouldn't blame you
Coz it feels good when I see you happy...
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Repressive
Pernah bener-bener menginginkan sesuatu? Sangat ingin.. Saking besarnya keinginan itu, sampe-sampe ketika kita ga berhasil ngedapetinnya, itu bakal bikin kita terbebani banget. Yup, kalo dibuku Psikoanalisis, keadaan tadi namanya represif.
Represif ini bisa dibilang tingkatan paling rendah, dan yang terbesar adalah tahap histeria. Semua ini terjadi di alam bawah sadar sampe kita sendiri ga akan menyadarinya kalo emang ga mencari tau. Kalo udah sampe tahap histeria, ya gejalanya bisa sampe kebawa mimpi, dan semakin lama bisa menyerang saraf sensorik otak - dengan kata lain - kena penyakit syaraf.
Ngeri banget ya?! Kalo represif masih lebih mending, beban itu bisa hilang sedikit demi sedikit dengan melakukan pengalihan ke hal lain (entah apa itu). Yang bikin ini parah banget, it all happens under your unconsciousness. Orang yang keliatannya normal-normal aja bisa jadi sampe tahap histeria kalo dia gak tanggep sama gejala-gejala awalnya.
Ngomong-ngomong soal represif, histeria, keinginan, bla bla bla.. Kira-kira apa aja ya yang bisa bikin kita ngerasain seperti itu? Ya mungkin kalo ditinjau dari faktor religi, mungkin kurangnya iman sampe semua beban tadi merasa ga bisa disalurkan. Well, every feelings came from the Creator, right..? Memang yang paling pas untuk mengobati semua ya kembali lagi ke Penciptanya..
Mungkin sekarang gue lagi ada di tahap represif (entahlah, temen gue yang bilang, gue blom mencari tau lebih lanjut). Mungkin juga bisa keadaan bisa semakin parah kalo ga ditanggulangi lebih lanjut. Hahaha. Ironic.
Kemaren-kemaren gue bingung sama orientasi hidup gue.. Alhamdulillah semakin lama semua semakin jelas, dan Alhamdulillah lagi, gue sudah kembali menikmati kuliah gue kembali. Dan mungkin masalah yang baru.. Represifitas ini. Keinginan yang sangat besar dan dibarengi dengan kekecewaan yang amat sangat.
Emangnya gue mau apa sih?! Sampe harus dicap represif begini.. Hm.. Yang pasti untuk sesuatu yang sangat gue inginkan dan gue pikir akan gue dapet, tapi tiba-tiba harus hilang untuk alesan yang gak akan pernah gue tau..
Gue tau kok harus ngapain, but it's just too hard to accept this whole heartedly, somehow.
Represif ini bisa dibilang tingkatan paling rendah, dan yang terbesar adalah tahap histeria. Semua ini terjadi di alam bawah sadar sampe kita sendiri ga akan menyadarinya kalo emang ga mencari tau. Kalo udah sampe tahap histeria, ya gejalanya bisa sampe kebawa mimpi, dan semakin lama bisa menyerang saraf sensorik otak - dengan kata lain - kena penyakit syaraf.
Ngeri banget ya?! Kalo represif masih lebih mending, beban itu bisa hilang sedikit demi sedikit dengan melakukan pengalihan ke hal lain (entah apa itu). Yang bikin ini parah banget, it all happens under your unconsciousness. Orang yang keliatannya normal-normal aja bisa jadi sampe tahap histeria kalo dia gak tanggep sama gejala-gejala awalnya.
Ngomong-ngomong soal represif, histeria, keinginan, bla bla bla.. Kira-kira apa aja ya yang bisa bikin kita ngerasain seperti itu? Ya mungkin kalo ditinjau dari faktor religi, mungkin kurangnya iman sampe semua beban tadi merasa ga bisa disalurkan. Well, every feelings came from the Creator, right..? Memang yang paling pas untuk mengobati semua ya kembali lagi ke Penciptanya..
Mungkin sekarang gue lagi ada di tahap represif (entahlah, temen gue yang bilang, gue blom mencari tau lebih lanjut). Mungkin juga bisa keadaan bisa semakin parah kalo ga ditanggulangi lebih lanjut. Hahaha. Ironic.
Kemaren-kemaren gue bingung sama orientasi hidup gue.. Alhamdulillah semakin lama semua semakin jelas, dan Alhamdulillah lagi, gue sudah kembali menikmati kuliah gue kembali. Dan mungkin masalah yang baru.. Represifitas ini. Keinginan yang sangat besar dan dibarengi dengan kekecewaan yang amat sangat.
Emangnya gue mau apa sih?! Sampe harus dicap represif begini.. Hm.. Yang pasti untuk sesuatu yang sangat gue inginkan dan gue pikir akan gue dapet, tapi tiba-tiba harus hilang untuk alesan yang gak akan pernah gue tau..
Gue tau kok harus ngapain, but it's just too hard to accept this whole heartedly, somehow.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Perubahan
Gue baru baca tulisan di blog orang, intinya.. Satu-satunya hal yang pasti di dunia ini adalah perubahan. Dan yang membuat perubahan terasa berat adalah penerimaan dari masing-masing individu terhadap hal-hal yang tiba-tiba 'berubah'. Nah, seberapa siap sih kita menerima perubahan..?
Gampang sih, kalo perubahan yang diterima adalah perubahan ke arah yang lebih baik. Contoh: perubahan dari miskin ke kaya. Akan lebih mudah menerima kenyataan tersebut, kalo dibandingkan dengan keadaan yang sebaliknya. Intinya cuma bentuk penerimaannya aja.
Talking about change, people do change. Bingung memang kalo mengharapkan orang lain dalam keadaan yang sama seumur hidupnya. Things change. Pasti. Pasti banget. Tapi yang susah yaa itu tadi, penerimaan terhadap perubahan ini. Apalagi kalo udah terbiasa dengan zona nyaman yang ternyata ga bertahan lama. Hmm. It's just about yourself and your effort to accept the changes.
Mungkin gue masih harus banyak belajar berbesar hati kali yaa. Karena kata orang itu tadi, kebahagiaan adalah ketika kenyataan berjalan beriringan dengan keinginan. Kenapa banyak orang yang selalu melankolis dengan masa lalunya, ya karena mereka ga siap dengan perubahan yang terjadi sekarang.
Hihi, nulis gampang yaah. Prakteknya? Time will heal.. Hopefully..
Gampang sih, kalo perubahan yang diterima adalah perubahan ke arah yang lebih baik. Contoh: perubahan dari miskin ke kaya. Akan lebih mudah menerima kenyataan tersebut, kalo dibandingkan dengan keadaan yang sebaliknya. Intinya cuma bentuk penerimaannya aja.
Talking about change, people do change. Bingung memang kalo mengharapkan orang lain dalam keadaan yang sama seumur hidupnya. Things change. Pasti. Pasti banget. Tapi yang susah yaa itu tadi, penerimaan terhadap perubahan ini. Apalagi kalo udah terbiasa dengan zona nyaman yang ternyata ga bertahan lama. Hmm. It's just about yourself and your effort to accept the changes.
Mungkin gue masih harus banyak belajar berbesar hati kali yaa. Karena kata orang itu tadi, kebahagiaan adalah ketika kenyataan berjalan beriringan dengan keinginan. Kenapa banyak orang yang selalu melankolis dengan masa lalunya, ya karena mereka ga siap dengan perubahan yang terjadi sekarang.
Hihi, nulis gampang yaah. Prakteknya? Time will heal.. Hopefully..
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Love
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
by Neil Gaiman
But yet it gives you the most amazing feeling that you've ever known...
Monday, April 28, 2008
Bravery
Have you ever been in the most confusing moment? Ga tau harus ngapain, bingung nentuin pilihan, bingung harus bersikap.. Even you don't know how to be true to yourself..
Sometimes being passive doesn't always felt wrong, huh? Isn't that great to follow the path of your life without worrying that you'll gonna lost. When you keep walking and you're sure that you'll always be guided and suddenly you arrived there! Your destination. Isn't that the greatest surprise ever? You don't have to choose, you just do the whole scenario.
I think bravery suits them who dare to choose. Dare to fail. Dare to follow their heart, whatever matters around them. Somehow I just don't have that, yet.
Kinda feel strange when I'm dwelling in this kind of situation today, when I reviewed back my past. Doing something spontaneous was just something rare lately. And being adult is something full of responsibility, like it or not..
Sometimes being passive doesn't always felt wrong, huh? Isn't that great to follow the path of your life without worrying that you'll gonna lost. When you keep walking and you're sure that you'll always be guided and suddenly you arrived there! Your destination. Isn't that the greatest surprise ever? You don't have to choose, you just do the whole scenario.
I think bravery suits them who dare to choose. Dare to fail. Dare to follow their heart, whatever matters around them. Somehow I just don't have that, yet.
Kinda feel strange when I'm dwelling in this kind of situation today, when I reviewed back my past. Doing something spontaneous was just something rare lately. And being adult is something full of responsibility, like it or not..
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Stage euphoria
3:51 am it is, facing the notebook and try to write something.. Just came back from watching the live band performance in the mall downtown. Yes, very entertaining. The rock ballade songs, back in the 70s. Songs from Queen, Metallica, the White Lions, the Eagles, kinda admit it that they're good. The difference between listening live music and the recording one was obvious. It's live! Very happening..
How sense should be the one that matters in architecture, I think most of us had been forgotten. How to make create something "beautiful" for everybody, not only beautiful for segmented people. I'm trying to analyze this new mall I described above, which offering an architecture for public to enjoy. The place was outdoor, with round stage and tables in "T" order. The stage placed in the crossing axis of the "T". I think this lay out and the atmosphere is great, coz everybody enjoyed it.
Good architecture doesn't have to be something trendy at a time. Like the British once said, "a thing of beauty is a joy forever" - Y.B. Mangunwijaya, Wastu Citra.
***
Saya ingin berkarya! Entah kapan. Suatu hari, pengen banget. Pengen bikin sesuatu yang punya perngaruh positif buat sekelilingnya. Kalo dibilang sekarang sedang meniti jalan ke arah sana, gak salah juga sih. Tapi kalo ditanya progressnya seperti apa, mmmm, entar dulu deh. Mungkin blom optimal, dan gue baru bisa nyimpen dulu cita-cita gue ini.
How sense should be the one that matters in architecture, I think most of us had been forgotten. How to make create something "beautiful" for everybody, not only beautiful for segmented people. I'm trying to analyze this new mall I described above, which offering an architecture for public to enjoy. The place was outdoor, with round stage and tables in "T" order. The stage placed in the crossing axis of the "T". I think this lay out and the atmosphere is great, coz everybody enjoyed it.
Good architecture doesn't have to be something trendy at a time. Like the British once said, "a thing of beauty is a joy forever" - Y.B. Mangunwijaya, Wastu Citra.
***
Saya ingin berkarya! Entah kapan. Suatu hari, pengen banget. Pengen bikin sesuatu yang punya perngaruh positif buat sekelilingnya. Kalo dibilang sekarang sedang meniti jalan ke arah sana, gak salah juga sih. Tapi kalo ditanya progressnya seperti apa, mmmm, entar dulu deh. Mungkin blom optimal, dan gue baru bisa nyimpen dulu cita-cita gue ini.
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